(Editor’s note: With the big game looming, this column may be the product of “pre-game analysis overdose,” known in the medical literature as PAO.)
Host: I’d like to welcome the audience to our pre-office workday analysis show. With me today is co-host Dan Quinn, a standout member of middle management for 14 years and veteran office worker. Dan’s a 17-time office worker of the month award winner, and 19-time winner of the coveted prime parking space in the rear lot for being outstanding middle manager of the week.
Co-host: It’s great to be here today, Roy. I’m really looking forward to this office workday. It promises to be a classic.
Host: Yes, indeed. I think this one should live up to all the pre-office workday hype. What are going to be some of the keys to making this office workday a success?
Co-host: Well, it’s all going to come down to execution, Roy, on both sides of the cubicle. That, and staffers have to be given enough time at the keyboard. That’s crucial. They’ve got to feel comfortable and unhurried. They’re going to need to be mistake-free at the keyboard today to make this office workday a success.
Host: What about the problems they’ve had all year with the office’s copier/fax/printer machine? There have been days when printing delays took valuable time off the office workday clock. Will that be a factor in today’s office workday?
Co-host: Roy, you simply can’t make excuses. I’ve been working in office environments for more than two decades and printing delays with the office’s copier/fax/printer machine are something every office has to go through. They’re part of every office workday. You’ve got to make the proper adjustments.
Host: What about personnel issues? According to the weekly personnel report, one staffer is listed as questionable with sniffles, two are probable with the sore throat that’s been going around, and one is listed as out on maternity leave.
Co-host: Once again, Roy, you can’t make excuses. Every office has its sniffles, sore throats and maternity leaves. Other staffers have to step in and make up for the lost production.
Host: One last thing before we head into today’s office workday. There’s an important staff meeting at 1 p.m. in the conference room. What do you see as some of the keys to its success?
Co-host: They’re going to have to limit turnovers to too many speakers, establish the power-point presentation, and pound the message home.
Page 2 of 2 - Host: Anything else?
Co-host: They should order pizza. Office workers like free pizza.
Host: Well, thanks for those insights, Dan. We’ll now be switching to live coverage of today’s office workday …
Frank Mulligan is an editor in GateHouse Media New England’s Plymouth office, and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.